but god works...

...in funny ways.

that night i was coughing a lot. by the time i got home at 1230 or so, i couldnt stop coughing. i didnt think much of it. i just took some cold meds and went to bed. saturday morning i felt awful. i could barely walk, i was weak with the worst migrane, coughing and coughing, congestion, etc. by afternoon i had a fever. i founf out a lot of my friends were getting sick too. facebook statuses said "sick" "miserable" and everything like that. my aunt's a doctor, and told me the responsible thing to do would be to go to the doctor to make sure it would be ok to go to graduation. my uncle was appalled... "she doesnt get it... if you can stand you go to graduation." even though i was feeling okay this morning, i went to my doctor appt. the docs looked at my mom like she was crazy when my mom said what my aunt said. but they took a nose culture and the rapid flu test just to make sure because they had to....

... and it came back positive.


they said they would have to notify public health. that because of the recent swine flu panic, even though i was not tested positive for swine flu and it will not be sure for days and it is unlikely, that i would not be able to attend graduation. isolation for seven days is in the books as mandatory. i was in shock, then in tears. they made me leave with a mask on from a back exit.

i got out to the parking lot and call sebring bawling my eyes out. ms binienda called me. she called the quadrant manager. theres nothing they could do. there was a chance i could go just to receive my diploma with a mask on... but i would rather not put others in danger. i did not want anyone to know that i was sick, so i avoided my phone for a while. i sat on my back steps cryign for an hour.

but then i realized a ton of other kids, of my friends, were sick too and should get tested too. whatever i have must have been spread from someone on class day, when everyone was packed together all day, everyone was hugging and toughing eachothers yearbooks etc. i put my own business on blast for their sakes, and not many of them listened to my advice. i dont think people realize by not getting tested that their families, teachers, and other students are at risk tomorrow at graduation. if enough kids were tested positive, which im sure they would be considering their symptoms are described muchhh worse than my own, they would postpone graduation which would be safer for everyone.

i accept the fact now that i will miss my graduation, that i have worked my ass off for four years for. that i have never sat still a minute for. that i have been anticipating since i was a freshman. that i deserve, and that i would have been speaking at. i will record my speech, and they are going to play it on a screen tomorrow night.

i just pray no one gets sicker tomorrow. with all the sick kids in the dcu, with grandparents and baby siblings in the audience, parents and teachers,... i just hope no one else has a sickness to spread.

i said to my mom.. this always happens to me. i work so hard then i get shit on in the end. and she said, andrea you've had a fairy tale of a life.

i said... but i didnt get to say bye mom. this would be the last time i saw so many people. and she said, well maybe you arent meant to say goodbye to south high.

and i said, this is the worst day of my life. and i realized on my own that if missing my high school graduation is the very worst thing thats ever happened to me, my life is pretty damn good.

god must just b protecting my family, friends, and i. me being diagnosed is the only way the 14 people that were going to the graduation for me would not go. it could be that He knew it was not safe for them. and i would rather see my family safe.

i know i did the responsible thing going to the doctor. i had my day on class day for recognition and praise, i walked across that stage and shook hands a million times that day.

it's okay if im not in anyones graduation day pictures,...

i am confident i will be remembered for more than that.