... i have nothing else to do.
and i need to mention how i have the best friends ever.
first jess and chewy and ann drop off a plant with a big get well soon balloon, a cute little teddy bear, and a copy of teen vogue and cosmo to keep me busy.
then melissa, grace, and yessy creep into my yard and light candles and give me a rose, cherry garcia ice cream, a card, and two big posters. and melissa said shes dropping off her wii at one a.m., lol.
i love them. i have the best friends. thanks guys. i love you.
for real.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
but god works...
...in funny ways.
that night i was coughing a lot. by the time i got home at 1230 or so, i couldnt stop coughing. i didnt think much of it. i just took some cold meds and went to bed. saturday morning i felt awful. i could barely walk, i was weak with the worst migrane, coughing and coughing, congestion, etc. by afternoon i had a fever. i founf out a lot of my friends were getting sick too. facebook statuses said "sick" "miserable" and everything like that. my aunt's a doctor, and told me the responsible thing to do would be to go to the doctor to make sure it would be ok to go to graduation. my uncle was appalled... "she doesnt get it... if you can stand you go to graduation." even though i was feeling okay this morning, i went to my doctor appt. the docs looked at my mom like she was crazy when my mom said what my aunt said. but they took a nose culture and the rapid flu test just to make sure because they had to....
... and it came back positive.
they said they would have to notify public health. that because of the recent swine flu panic, even though i was not tested positive for swine flu and it will not be sure for days and it is unlikely, that i would not be able to attend graduation. isolation for seven days is in the books as mandatory. i was in shock, then in tears. they made me leave with a mask on from a back exit.
i got out to the parking lot and call sebring bawling my eyes out. ms binienda called me. she called the quadrant manager. theres nothing they could do. there was a chance i could go just to receive my diploma with a mask on... but i would rather not put others in danger. i did not want anyone to know that i was sick, so i avoided my phone for a while. i sat on my back steps cryign for an hour.
but then i realized a ton of other kids, of my friends, were sick too and should get tested too. whatever i have must have been spread from someone on class day, when everyone was packed together all day, everyone was hugging and toughing eachothers yearbooks etc. i put my own business on blast for their sakes, and not many of them listened to my advice. i dont think people realize by not getting tested that their families, teachers, and other students are at risk tomorrow at graduation. if enough kids were tested positive, which im sure they would be considering their symptoms are described muchhh worse than my own, they would postpone graduation which would be safer for everyone.
i accept the fact now that i will miss my graduation, that i have worked my ass off for four years for. that i have never sat still a minute for. that i have been anticipating since i was a freshman. that i deserve, and that i would have been speaking at. i will record my speech, and they are going to play it on a screen tomorrow night.
i just pray no one gets sicker tomorrow. with all the sick kids in the dcu, with grandparents and baby siblings in the audience, parents and teachers,... i just hope no one else has a sickness to spread.
i said to my mom.. this always happens to me. i work so hard then i get shit on in the end. and she said, andrea you've had a fairy tale of a life.
i said... but i didnt get to say bye mom. this would be the last time i saw so many people. and she said, well maybe you arent meant to say goodbye to south high.
and i said, this is the worst day of my life. and i realized on my own that if missing my high school graduation is the very worst thing thats ever happened to me, my life is pretty damn good.
god must just b protecting my family, friends, and i. me being diagnosed is the only way the 14 people that were going to the graduation for me would not go. it could be that He knew it was not safe for them. and i would rather see my family safe.
i know i did the responsible thing going to the doctor. i had my day on class day for recognition and praise, i walked across that stage and shook hands a million times that day.
it's okay if im not in anyones graduation day pictures,...
i am confident i will be remembered for more than that.
that night i was coughing a lot. by the time i got home at 1230 or so, i couldnt stop coughing. i didnt think much of it. i just took some cold meds and went to bed. saturday morning i felt awful. i could barely walk, i was weak with the worst migrane, coughing and coughing, congestion, etc. by afternoon i had a fever. i founf out a lot of my friends were getting sick too. facebook statuses said "sick" "miserable" and everything like that. my aunt's a doctor, and told me the responsible thing to do would be to go to the doctor to make sure it would be ok to go to graduation. my uncle was appalled... "she doesnt get it... if you can stand you go to graduation." even though i was feeling okay this morning, i went to my doctor appt. the docs looked at my mom like she was crazy when my mom said what my aunt said. but they took a nose culture and the rapid flu test just to make sure because they had to....
... and it came back positive.
they said they would have to notify public health. that because of the recent swine flu panic, even though i was not tested positive for swine flu and it will not be sure for days and it is unlikely, that i would not be able to attend graduation. isolation for seven days is in the books as mandatory. i was in shock, then in tears. they made me leave with a mask on from a back exit.
i got out to the parking lot and call sebring bawling my eyes out. ms binienda called me. she called the quadrant manager. theres nothing they could do. there was a chance i could go just to receive my diploma with a mask on... but i would rather not put others in danger. i did not want anyone to know that i was sick, so i avoided my phone for a while. i sat on my back steps cryign for an hour.
but then i realized a ton of other kids, of my friends, were sick too and should get tested too. whatever i have must have been spread from someone on class day, when everyone was packed together all day, everyone was hugging and toughing eachothers yearbooks etc. i put my own business on blast for their sakes, and not many of them listened to my advice. i dont think people realize by not getting tested that their families, teachers, and other students are at risk tomorrow at graduation. if enough kids were tested positive, which im sure they would be considering their symptoms are described muchhh worse than my own, they would postpone graduation which would be safer for everyone.
i accept the fact now that i will miss my graduation, that i have worked my ass off for four years for. that i have never sat still a minute for. that i have been anticipating since i was a freshman. that i deserve, and that i would have been speaking at. i will record my speech, and they are going to play it on a screen tomorrow night.
i just pray no one gets sicker tomorrow. with all the sick kids in the dcu, with grandparents and baby siblings in the audience, parents and teachers,... i just hope no one else has a sickness to spread.
i said to my mom.. this always happens to me. i work so hard then i get shit on in the end. and she said, andrea you've had a fairy tale of a life.
i said... but i didnt get to say bye mom. this would be the last time i saw so many people. and she said, well maybe you arent meant to say goodbye to south high.
and i said, this is the worst day of my life. and i realized on my own that if missing my high school graduation is the very worst thing thats ever happened to me, my life is pretty damn good.
god must just b protecting my family, friends, and i. me being diagnosed is the only way the 14 people that were going to the graduation for me would not go. it could be that He knew it was not safe for them. and i would rather see my family safe.
i know i did the responsible thing going to the doctor. i had my day on class day for recognition and praise, i walked across that stage and shook hands a million times that day.
it's okay if im not in anyones graduation day pictures,...
i am confident i will be remembered for more than that.
and then came friday...
...class day.
even though it was rainy and soggy out, the day was beautiful. the senior breakfast went over well. graduation practice was smooth sailing.
everyone looked great, snapping picture after picture after picture in the student parking lot, cafeteria, hallway, classrooms. everyone gave hug after hug.
i gave my farewell address to the class. i was on cloud nine. as i walked up, i was not nervous but emotional, clenching my teeth to hold back tears. i know i talked too fast at first, but then i calmed down and spoke at times without even looking at my paper. people laughed. i was doing so well not crying, until one point. and when i cried, a long "awwwwww" spread across the auditorium. people cried with me. before my speech even ended, i received the longest round of applause, and again when it was over. it went over a million times better than expected. it was a good way to end.
after that i got a bunch of awards, which is always nice.
the slide show was amazing, thanks to dL.
then we got our yearbooks. in the library, everyone signed their hearts away until the very end of the day when they forced us to leave.
i went to my very last tennis practice ever, and had a hilarious time.
some friends went out for dinner that night, and to a party, and to airport hill to hang out. a good time.
it seemed like a good sign for how summer would be: together with good friends.
even though it was rainy and soggy out, the day was beautiful. the senior breakfast went over well. graduation practice was smooth sailing.
everyone looked great, snapping picture after picture after picture in the student parking lot, cafeteria, hallway, classrooms. everyone gave hug after hug.
i gave my farewell address to the class. i was on cloud nine. as i walked up, i was not nervous but emotional, clenching my teeth to hold back tears. i know i talked too fast at first, but then i calmed down and spoke at times without even looking at my paper. people laughed. i was doing so well not crying, until one point. and when i cried, a long "awwwwww" spread across the auditorium. people cried with me. before my speech even ended, i received the longest round of applause, and again when it was over. it went over a million times better than expected. it was a good way to end.
after that i got a bunch of awards, which is always nice.
the slide show was amazing, thanks to dL.
then we got our yearbooks. in the library, everyone signed their hearts away until the very end of the day when they forced us to leave.
i went to my very last tennis practice ever, and had a hilarious time.
some friends went out for dinner that night, and to a party, and to airport hill to hang out. a good time.
it seemed like a good sign for how summer would be: together with good friends.
warning:
this might be the longest blog ever. brace yourself.
tuesday was a crazy day, planning the final details of prom, running around school, not having time to get my nails done. someone said "i feel bad for you- you're always running around for other people" and i was like yea, but its okay. i love my job as president and i wouldnt have it any other way. i live for the hustle-bustle, the deadlines and expectations. and i only have three days left of it, i said.
wednesday was even more crazy. went to school for about thirty minutes, then off to wachussett to set up for prom that night. got my hair done at rinse, loved it. went home and did my makeup, slipped on my cinderella-style dress and silver shoes, clipped on my sparkling jewelry, and was ready for prom. met up with adrienanna and shawn, yessy and evan at adrieannas for pictures. the rain stopped just in time to not frizz up our hair and ruin our dresses. went to st. v's for more and more pics, with 39 other people, all of which looked gorgeous. got kicked out of st. v's and loaded ourselves onto the amazing, huge, wicked cool party bus.
prom was great. everything looked gorgeous. all our hard work that was building up all year, all the fund raisers and organizing finally materialized into one succcessful, fun, and beautiful evening. the food was great, everyone danced, and i didn't hear many complaints at all. the photographer gave us a compliment i much appreciate: that he's done a million proms, and he's never seen one as organized as ours. we presented ms. sebring with a corsage for all of her hard work, she teared up. my dress was so hot to dance in but its okay because i still loved it. everyone got along, nothing really bad happened. success.
after prom ended, and it semed to end ever so quickly because i guess time really does fly when you're having fun, we all ogt back on the party bus, which we thought we had until 5 a.m. we had the music blasting an even better playlist than prom had. everyone was up dancing together. lots of laughs. just as i changed out of my dress into normal clothes, at about midnight, the bus drivers kicked us all out... even though we paid for 12 hours. so we were stranded in the middle of downtown worcester for a while, holding our dresses, and without enough cars to transport us all to where we wanted to go. luckily mel came and got me and chewy, and a bunch of people met up at denny's. by three a.m. we left and went home, since there somehoiw were no parties going on after senior prom. unbelievable, but it was fine.
chewy slept over my house. we woke up around 930 the next morning, and trudged into school. i was soooo tired. school was void of seniors. but i'm glad i went in to see the few people that were actually there. that night, after tennis practice and stuff, i went for a drive with yessy. i could not beleive the next day would be the last day of school. we went to starbucks, like old times. we teared up in my car talking about how it was all over.
i did a lot of thinking those days. at south, i have a reputation, a standing, a connection with faculty, trust, and respect. and now, i have to re-build that image from scratch again, after i worked so hard for four years to construct it. it'll be a challenge, but it's not impossible. i changed so much over the four years, that i know i can change even more and believe in myself. i was still in denial that the next day would be my last day at south. my last day at south. it seemed impossible. i felt like it was a joke. haha yea right, ill see you monday in mr. garcia's class to antagonize him with our humor, in the senior caf to eat lunch all together, in sebring's room to plan the next event. and tuesday, wednesday, etc.etc.etc. how could there be one day left? how could i fulfill all i'd want to say, all i'd want to do in one more day?
tuesday was a crazy day, planning the final details of prom, running around school, not having time to get my nails done. someone said "i feel bad for you- you're always running around for other people" and i was like yea, but its okay. i love my job as president and i wouldnt have it any other way. i live for the hustle-bustle, the deadlines and expectations. and i only have three days left of it, i said.
wednesday was even more crazy. went to school for about thirty minutes, then off to wachussett to set up for prom that night. got my hair done at rinse, loved it. went home and did my makeup, slipped on my cinderella-style dress and silver shoes, clipped on my sparkling jewelry, and was ready for prom. met up with adrienanna and shawn, yessy and evan at adrieannas for pictures. the rain stopped just in time to not frizz up our hair and ruin our dresses. went to st. v's for more and more pics, with 39 other people, all of which looked gorgeous. got kicked out of st. v's and loaded ourselves onto the amazing, huge, wicked cool party bus.
prom was great. everything looked gorgeous. all our hard work that was building up all year, all the fund raisers and organizing finally materialized into one succcessful, fun, and beautiful evening. the food was great, everyone danced, and i didn't hear many complaints at all. the photographer gave us a compliment i much appreciate: that he's done a million proms, and he's never seen one as organized as ours. we presented ms. sebring with a corsage for all of her hard work, she teared up. my dress was so hot to dance in but its okay because i still loved it. everyone got along, nothing really bad happened. success.
after prom ended, and it semed to end ever so quickly because i guess time really does fly when you're having fun, we all ogt back on the party bus, which we thought we had until 5 a.m. we had the music blasting an even better playlist than prom had. everyone was up dancing together. lots of laughs. just as i changed out of my dress into normal clothes, at about midnight, the bus drivers kicked us all out... even though we paid for 12 hours. so we were stranded in the middle of downtown worcester for a while, holding our dresses, and without enough cars to transport us all to where we wanted to go. luckily mel came and got me and chewy, and a bunch of people met up at denny's. by three a.m. we left and went home, since there somehoiw were no parties going on after senior prom. unbelievable, but it was fine.
chewy slept over my house. we woke up around 930 the next morning, and trudged into school. i was soooo tired. school was void of seniors. but i'm glad i went in to see the few people that were actually there. that night, after tennis practice and stuff, i went for a drive with yessy. i could not beleive the next day would be the last day of school. we went to starbucks, like old times. we teared up in my car talking about how it was all over.
i did a lot of thinking those days. at south, i have a reputation, a standing, a connection with faculty, trust, and respect. and now, i have to re-build that image from scratch again, after i worked so hard for four years to construct it. it'll be a challenge, but it's not impossible. i changed so much over the four years, that i know i can change even more and believe in myself. i was still in denial that the next day would be my last day at south. my last day at south. it seemed impossible. i felt like it was a joke. haha yea right, ill see you monday in mr. garcia's class to antagonize him with our humor, in the senior caf to eat lunch all together, in sebring's room to plan the next event. and tuesday, wednesday, etc.etc.etc. how could there be one day left? how could i fulfill all i'd want to say, all i'd want to do in one more day?
Monday, May 25, 2009
exactly one week
til graduation. i can't believe it at all.
i've been trying to make the most of my last days as a high-school-er. i guess you can say its working.
i've been trying to make the most of my last days as a high-school-er. i guess you can say its working.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
winding down
thursday night, i watched the graduation episodes of the o.c. with my cousins...
it brought me back to old times, watching that show with former friends, during certain parts of my life. every episode coincides with another moment of high school for me... and it's crazy it's about over.
friday was pretty great. we spent all of garcia's class doing the hokey pokey, limbo, hand games, and taking pics. go figure. had a little party in art, i revised my speech, sold over 260 senior prom tickets, and had no practice.
grace came over and we sunbathed in my back yard for a while, then saw the juniors off to thier prom. they all looked beautiful, and handsome, by the way. especially my girl monika whoi won prom queen :o*
andddd melissa evan grace yessy and i did slip and slide in my backyard. so fun. not gonna lie. probably the most fun i've had in a while.
then ate wicked good food my parents nicely made for us, played rock band at melissas, met up with other kids. yessy me and the boys went to the airport, just to chill. it was nice out.
i love doing nothing and everything with my favorite people.
and if this is how summer will be, i'll be satisfied getting dirty and soapy and bug-bitten in my back yard, or sitting under the stars on airport drive.
it brought me back to old times, watching that show with former friends, during certain parts of my life. every episode coincides with another moment of high school for me... and it's crazy it's about over.
friday was pretty great. we spent all of garcia's class doing the hokey pokey, limbo, hand games, and taking pics. go figure. had a little party in art, i revised my speech, sold over 260 senior prom tickets, and had no practice.
grace came over and we sunbathed in my back yard for a while, then saw the juniors off to thier prom. they all looked beautiful, and handsome, by the way. especially my girl monika whoi won prom queen :o*
andddd melissa evan grace yessy and i did slip and slide in my backyard. so fun. not gonna lie. probably the most fun i've had in a while.
then ate wicked good food my parents nicely made for us, played rock band at melissas, met up with other kids. yessy me and the boys went to the airport, just to chill. it was nice out.
i love doing nothing and everything with my favorite people.
and if this is how summer will be, i'll be satisfied getting dirty and soapy and bug-bitten in my back yard, or sitting under the stars on airport drive.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
flying by
the second to last week of school's almost over. actually, this week was the last actual week of school. next week is full of grad rehearsals, prom prep, prom itself, sleeping in, speech practicing, etc. etc. etc.
tuesday night was the nhs ceremony, it was well done after all. and i won another doubles match with kim.
last night was the band/chorus concert. it was so good. i love south for that kind of thing. and i won another doubles match with jess.
today was my last final. killed it. and it was my last superintendents advisory council meeting. it would have been my last senior class meeting too but ms. s had to leave so we didn't have one.
just made muffins from scratch for a breakfast party in art tomorrow.
now i'm heading off to tennis practice!
peaaace out.
oh and i DID start writing my speech for graduation. i have a solid draft done. it needs some work but i had to bite my tongue typing it in mr. d's class, i'm gonna ball my eyes out reading it, i'm telling you.
tuesday night was the nhs ceremony, it was well done after all. and i won another doubles match with kim.
last night was the band/chorus concert. it was so good. i love south for that kind of thing. and i won another doubles match with jess.
today was my last final. killed it. and it was my last superintendents advisory council meeting. it would have been my last senior class meeting too but ms. s had to leave so we didn't have one.
just made muffins from scratch for a breakfast party in art tomorrow.
now i'm heading off to tennis practice!
peaaace out.
oh and i DID start writing my speech for graduation. i have a solid draft done. it needs some work but i had to bite my tongue typing it in mr. d's class, i'm gonna ball my eyes out reading it, i'm telling you.
Monday, May 18, 2009
the beginning
of the end
today was the last monday of high school, ever. what the heck, how did this happen?
in ap lit we made "toasts" to our four years at south and people/things that have affected us. it was really cute and sweet, and i'm not gonna lie i shed a few tears as did almost everyone else. it made me realize that i'll miss all the kids at south that i've been with these four years, even if they aren't my best friends, even if they are just classmates that i have a strictly in-school relationship with. and i'll miss my teachers and administrators who i toasted because south really does have the best i could hope for.
now i'm scared for class day when i have to make my speech to all 300 of my peers about everything we've all beent hrough together. i'm gonna be a mess.
something happened today though that made me realize how dirty some people are. how kniving and attention-seeking and fake and plastic. it made me wanna punch a bitch so hard. and knowing me, thats a lot to say. it's a bad feeling.
then something else happened that made me realize some people have redeaming qualities, like being able to say sorry and act maturely. its a good feeling.
oh, i won another tennis match :o) this time with jess against BMR. niiice.
and on the bus ride to BMR, i started writing my graduation speech, zomg. please let me pull it off without crying.
because i will be THAT GIRL that cries and cries at graduation.
because its all over.
my fave new somg is "best i ever had" by drake, i've listened to it a zillion times the past couple days. idk why. its catchy and cute.
interview for a scholarship in the morning. cool.
went to the drive ins last weekend for the first time in seriously at least ten years. it was fun.
made a movie about stats with chewy and some guest stars. it was a good time. you should see it some time.
my life seems O.D. busy lately.
i'm gonna try to sleep tight tonight.
bye!
8 school days left.
today was the last monday of high school, ever. what the heck, how did this happen?
in ap lit we made "toasts" to our four years at south and people/things that have affected us. it was really cute and sweet, and i'm not gonna lie i shed a few tears as did almost everyone else. it made me realize that i'll miss all the kids at south that i've been with these four years, even if they aren't my best friends, even if they are just classmates that i have a strictly in-school relationship with. and i'll miss my teachers and administrators who i toasted because south really does have the best i could hope for.
now i'm scared for class day when i have to make my speech to all 300 of my peers about everything we've all beent hrough together. i'm gonna be a mess.
something happened today though that made me realize how dirty some people are. how kniving and attention-seeking and fake and plastic. it made me wanna punch a bitch so hard. and knowing me, thats a lot to say. it's a bad feeling.
then something else happened that made me realize some people have redeaming qualities, like being able to say sorry and act maturely. its a good feeling.
oh, i won another tennis match :o) this time with jess against BMR. niiice.
and on the bus ride to BMR, i started writing my graduation speech, zomg. please let me pull it off without crying.
because i will be THAT GIRL that cries and cries at graduation.
because its all over.
my fave new somg is "best i ever had" by drake, i've listened to it a zillion times the past couple days. idk why. its catchy and cute.
interview for a scholarship in the morning. cool.
went to the drive ins last weekend for the first time in seriously at least ten years. it was fun.
made a movie about stats with chewy and some guest stars. it was a good time. you should see it some time.
my life seems O.D. busy lately.
i'm gonna try to sleep tight tonight.
bye!
8 school days left.
Friday, May 15, 2009
as of 1:43 p.m.
life was good.
played second doubles with meg vs/ holy name, kicked their asses six-love, six-love. my first ever varsity win (only third varsity game ever played, so technically my record's one and two. not too bad, ahaha)
laughed a lot on the bus ride back to south.
made spur-the-moment plans with jess and ann to go to the drive ins with melissa and i and evan.
ate fastfood for the first time in i dont even remember how long.
watched wolverine under the stars wrapped up in blankets.
played "never have i ever" and tied with jess for winner. because we're both angels. maaaybe ;o)
stopped over simon's.
went home.
most importantly, avoided drama for a few hours. muy bien!
let's keep this upppp.
a few other things:
-i'm a finalist for another scholarship. woo.
- i got a pink slip (not cool) but i dont give a &^*%^&*% because i'll end up getting an A in that joke of a psych class. watch me.
-i took a three hour nap yesterday. never do that. it was beyond amazing.
-i miss someone really bad lately. it's sad. but "i know what's good for me."
-exactly 2 weeks until the last day of highschool ever! not sure how i feel about that at this point.
- i need to write my graduation speech so freakin bad.
played second doubles with meg vs/ holy name, kicked their asses six-love, six-love. my first ever varsity win (only third varsity game ever played, so technically my record's one and two. not too bad, ahaha)
laughed a lot on the bus ride back to south.
made spur-the-moment plans with jess and ann to go to the drive ins with melissa and i and evan.
ate fastfood for the first time in i dont even remember how long.
watched wolverine under the stars wrapped up in blankets.
played "never have i ever" and tied with jess for winner. because we're both angels. maaaybe ;o)
stopped over simon's.
went home.
most importantly, avoided drama for a few hours. muy bien!
let's keep this upppp.
a few other things:
-i'm a finalist for another scholarship. woo.
- i got a pink slip (not cool) but i dont give a &^*%^&*% because i'll end up getting an A in that joke of a psych class. watch me.
-i took a three hour nap yesterday. never do that. it was beyond amazing.
-i miss someone really bad lately. it's sad. but "i know what's good for me."
-exactly 2 weeks until the last day of highschool ever! not sure how i feel about that at this point.
- i need to write my graduation speech so freakin bad.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
it's the end of senior year
dear everyone,
can we stop being assholes, and act like we can actually handle going off into the real world? i would greatly appreciate it.
highest regards,
andrea
can we stop being assholes, and act like we can actually handle going off into the real world? i would greatly appreciate it.
highest regards,
andrea
Sunday, May 10, 2009
i hate miley cyrus but....
i feel a connection like whoa to "the climb."
just heard it in the car, and its the first time i really paid attention to the lyrics....
highschool's almost over. this CLIMB is almost over. so much has happened. its been hard. its been a challenge. people have been jerks. but its been the greatest four years, all working up to june 1st, where i can get the heck out.
and now i'm scared i'm not ready.
....even if everything sucks right now and no one cares and idc if that sounds emo. bite me.
p.s. i love my mom. it's mothers day and i dont care what anyone says, my mom is the best. i dont know what id do without her. we will go about our lives singing girls just wanna have fun on saturday mornings on our way to the mall, lmao.
just heard it in the car, and its the first time i really paid attention to the lyrics....
highschool's almost over. this CLIMB is almost over. so much has happened. its been hard. its been a challenge. people have been jerks. but its been the greatest four years, all working up to june 1st, where i can get the heck out.
and now i'm scared i'm not ready.
....even if everything sucks right now and no one cares and idc if that sounds emo. bite me.
p.s. i love my mom. it's mothers day and i dont care what anyone says, my mom is the best. i dont know what id do without her. we will go about our lives singing girls just wanna have fun on saturday mornings on our way to the mall, lmao.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
when its over
how is it that things are winding down so quickly?
i'm already done with my ap art portfolio, which i was rushing and worried would not happen. the senior art show has already passed, my final display of the creativity which sprang from room 262 and made academia bearable the past three years and made my life, whether you know it or not, way different, way more dimensional, and way better. i should upload my art sometime. most people haven't seen it. but i'm not looking for self-importance, nor recognition. it's just a big part of me. especially since a lot of them are self portraits. i think i know who i am more now, how cliche does that sound?
and today is my ap stats test. basically the last time i'll have to use my knowlege from my favorite academic class this year, with my favorite teacher from throughout my high school careeer. last night, i studied. i haven't seriously studied in a long time it seems. it was almost refreshing, seeing as senioritis has taken over my immune system lately. it reminded me of the nerd i was/am in highschool.
then thursday is ap english.
weird thing is, idk if any of these ap's will mean anything to my future but... each of them very well could. i love art. love it so much. and want to maybe minor in it, or go into advertising or something arts-y thats a legit professional career, like an art director for a company like apple, designing cool product displays and eye-catching marketing. and stats, i very well could be going into business, and we all know all the applications of statistics now! and english, i must admit i love writing... creatively. not like essays and term papers, ew, but like about my life, about experiences, about what's going on. i can write a killer speech, i can write effective stories, i can relay a story for the newspaper quite alright.
where will i be in four years?
It's not fair
To find you there
Waiting on
I don't care
I care
Way too much
Wait and see
That you are inside of
The places that you knew you love
The only time you'll ever trust
You are done
It's all been done
It's not fair
to find you there
waiting for me
I dont care
because I care way too much
Wait and see
That you are inside of
The places that you knew you love
The only time you'll ever try
You are done,
It's all been done
i'm already done with my ap art portfolio, which i was rushing and worried would not happen. the senior art show has already passed, my final display of the creativity which sprang from room 262 and made academia bearable the past three years and made my life, whether you know it or not, way different, way more dimensional, and way better. i should upload my art sometime. most people haven't seen it. but i'm not looking for self-importance, nor recognition. it's just a big part of me. especially since a lot of them are self portraits. i think i know who i am more now, how cliche does that sound?
and today is my ap stats test. basically the last time i'll have to use my knowlege from my favorite academic class this year, with my favorite teacher from throughout my high school careeer. last night, i studied. i haven't seriously studied in a long time it seems. it was almost refreshing, seeing as senioritis has taken over my immune system lately. it reminded me of the nerd i was/am in highschool.
then thursday is ap english.
weird thing is, idk if any of these ap's will mean anything to my future but... each of them very well could. i love art. love it so much. and want to maybe minor in it, or go into advertising or something arts-y thats a legit professional career, like an art director for a company like apple, designing cool product displays and eye-catching marketing. and stats, i very well could be going into business, and we all know all the applications of statistics now! and english, i must admit i love writing... creatively. not like essays and term papers, ew, but like about my life, about experiences, about what's going on. i can write a killer speech, i can write effective stories, i can relay a story for the newspaper quite alright.
where will i be in four years?
It's not fair
To find you there
Waiting on
I don't care
I care
Way too much
Wait and see
That you are inside of
The places that you knew you love
The only time you'll ever trust
You are done
It's all been done
It's not fair
to find you there
waiting for me
I dont care
because I care way too much
Wait and see
That you are inside of
The places that you knew you love
The only time you'll ever try
You are done,
It's all been done
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