alone on this .com

no one uses blogspot anymore :o(
maybe i need a tumblr?

stress-free finals?

knock on wood, finals are not stressing me out. i somehow came to a realization that "this too shall pass" and finals will be over in a week and a day and i'll be able to breathe easy. so why not keep breathing easy now? i just am in a mode of acceptance that i will study, write, read, do problems, review, type, and such from when i wake up until i go to bed for the next week and a day.

then i will pack up my things. say goodbye... to some things forever, like my room, newton campus, the newton bus, stuart dining hall (until i visit maybe once next year)... and to some things just for the summer, like my friends, classes, chestnut hill, and carrying a backpack that weighs a hundred pounds.

i was really sad about a week ago about all of this. i didn't want summer to approach, i didn't want to go to Worcester. i didn't want to go back to no job or plan or reason. But now i realize i'm going back to: my best friend, my family, moxie, my home, my bed.

i also might have a sorta plan for the summer: i might volunteer at Dress For Success Worcester in the marketing department. how awesome will that be? knock on wood. no pay, but will be doing something good, get experience, good resume booster, too.
and old navy... i dont think i can handle it. not fun. not challenging me. maybe i'll just try to babysit mad lot. tell old navy i can only work a couple days a week. or look for another job. i dont know. whatever. all will work out.

what!?

in two days, I will be done with my freshman year classes.
in two weeks, I will be done with my freshman year finals.
in two weeks, I will be done with my freshman year.
WHAT!????

the end of ELP, for this year

last night was the closing banquet for ELP, the Emerging Leader Program at Boston College, which I have been a member of this whole year. it blows my mind that this year is almost over; i did not believe the current facilitators and Mer, the dean who runs the program, when they said April would be here before i knew it. and April is here, and ELP is over.
the banquet was nice, it was beneficial to reflect back on all of the memories from the beginning of the year via the great slideshow and facilitators' talks. I almost forgot about all of the fun stuff we did throughout the year, beginning with silly icebreakers in the dustbowl, the retreat at Camp Burgess including canoe races and fire drenching race, duck tours, group outings, as well as great speakers, socials, and meetings. Plus i met one of my best friends, Sarah, through the program, and 59 other peer acquaintances, in addition to a meaningful relationship with one of the deans that will, i'm sure, serve me well in the future.

but... it's only over for now.
i applied, interviewed, and was offered the position as a sophomore facilitator for next year in ELP. i didnt tihnk i'd get it. those who did get it were quite surprising, to be honest, in many cases. and i was pretty apathetic about whether i would get the position in the end or not while waiting for my response. but of course i knew i had to try.
but now that i got the position i know that feeling of apathy was simply because i didnt want to get my hopes up. i dont know why i discredit myself so much sometimes. im really excited for the position now, especially after last night. i cant wait to move in two weeks before classes for training, to meet 50 incoming students, to get closer to 9 other sophomores that are facilitating with me, to find out who my direct facilitator partner is, to hold ELP lunches, plan group outings, lead meetings, force freshmen to do embarrassing icebreakers, and have a wicked awesome time on the retreat again. i'm glad i have a place at BC set for me for next year again, just like i did this year. but next year's place seems even more promising and exciting.

with that, i again say i acnt believe freshman year is nearing its end. i have only a few weeks until finals, which is insane in my mind. this year seems like it just began yet ive been here forever in a sense that this is my home now.

even though i've had a lot of struggles this year, with a lot of things, namely calculus, roommate search, other friends, and conquering self esteem in this new environment (still in process), i know i don't regret coming to BC at all. and im really excited that two more kids from my high school that are seniors now are coming to BC next year.

post-appalachia and rooming fiascos

i love Barren Springs, Virginia. i could write for hours about my experience there. i won't, because i know i'll leave out thousands of details either way, and i'd rather make a few main points:

Faith is a wonderful thing, and the people of Barren Springs had faith unlike I have ever in my life witnessed.
Hope is another wonderful thing, and the people of Barren Springs, depite their circumstances, had immense hope, and gave me great hope.
Love is the most wonderful thing, and from the second our group met the first member of the Barren Springs community, we were loved, and we fell in love.

I witnessed a community truly care for each other, truly appreciate the help of our group beyond what we deserved, truly act selflessly, truly extend warm welcomes, and truly trust our good intentions. I got to meet a man named Sam, the leader of the volunteer community in Barren Springs, who is possibly the nicest, most caring man I have ever met, who gave me one of the warmest feelings I have ever had in my entire life when he told me I was like his daughter (and meant the world to me that he messaged me on facebook today just to say hello). I got to leave my mark, physically, on Barren Springs by doing what i love most, painting, on the walls of an elementary school gym a eagle representing the school's mascot, named for BC. I got to meet 18 other BC students just as passionate about helping others as I.

And now, back from surviving comfortably two 14 hour bus rides, showering only twice, sleeping on the floor most nights, and eating amazing southern cooking, playing with adorable kids, helping build a church, growing my appreciation for country music (and southern accents) and getting to know countless amazing people from Virginia and BC all in one week...
... i can honestly say i was inspired to continue getting involved, meeting people, and extending a helping hand. Because the help I gave was only a tiny fraction of the impact the trip had on me.
Barren Springs, I will be back some day. I promise you that.



AND NOW... on to the less fuzzy stuff.
Rooming was this past week. and it was beyond hell. friends don't come in convenient packages of 8 or 4, let me tell you.
Once upon a time, someone asked me to room with her, months ago. perhaps november. come january, it must have slipped her mind. then comes along another friend, who invites me to join her group, inconveniently adding up to seven. we did not get one of the three seven-men apartments on campus. then comes along person 8, who was drama from the start, but good enough for desperate us, but who ditches us 30 minutes before registration time was over for 8-men, thus disallowing us to even try. then there were 7 again, who all met for dinner and tried to find another 8th so we could break up into two 4s. but bickering occurred and the entire entity dissolved. a thousand facebook messages, emails, texts, and tears later, three risign juniors shoot me an email inviting me to join with them for a 4-man. wonderful, until the housing selection system crashes as does email while our selection time comes and goes. but finally the next day, today, the system was back up, reslife worked things out, and i am destined to Edmunds 323. Four-man, full kitchen, bathroom, common area, two bedrooms. LEGIT.
who cares if i dont know the chicks? i will get to know them. ones from woosta, the others from boston. i get along with older kids better anyways. and 2 of my appa friends are on my floor, and one on the floor below me, woop woop.

all is well in the end.
thank God for the Luck o' the Irish <3

Pre-Appalachia

"May God bless you with the discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships--
So that you might live deep within your hearts.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, adn exploitation of people and resources--
So that you may work joyfully for justice, equity, and peace.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war--
So that you may reach out your hand in comfort, changing pain to joy.
And may God bless you with the foolishness to think that you can make a difference in the world."



Leaving in about two hours for Barren Springs, Virginia for a week during my Spring Break with the Appalachia Volunteer group. See y'all when I get back.

i miss my friends from home :o(

but i am two days, four classes, two mid terms, one book, one and a half art projects, and some homework away from SPRING BREAK! a.k.a. the next two days will be hellish, but worth it.
i'm going to Barren Springs, Virginia with Appalachia Volunteers of Boston College to live a week with an underprivledged community and help out in a variety of ways. i'm really excited but nervous for the 13-ish hour bus drive, the possibility of not being able to bathe for a week, and that my back will break from sleeping on the floor for seven nights. but the pro's will outweigh the con's i'm 100% positive.
i cant wait to meet new people.
i cant wait to get away from campus.
i cant wait to be to a place ive never been before.
i cant wait to help people in a tangible, real way.

but i do miss my friends and family and kinda wish i was going home next week like a lot of people are, but it'd be silly to miss such a good opportunity such as Appalachia when i know my friends and family will be there for me when i get back, just like theyre always there for me. plus, melissa came up last weekend and my parents are coming up this weekend before i leave, so it'll be A.O.K.

the ALC Ball was gorgeous. it was at the Fairmont Copley. also known as somewhere i could only dream of having my wedding someday. astonishing.
the dj could have been better, the dance floor was kind of scattered even with 800 or so people there. i didnt dance with any guys. but i turned down two ;o) and i danced a lot with just people i knew. i went with my 'BC big sister' who i love.
then melissa came the next night and we sat in my room and it was great, no jokes haha. best friend status 100%.

i also really want to find a better job this summer. i want to keep old navy a couple days a week but do something more real and with less retail bullshit. but i havent stumbled upon anythign yet.

talk to you soon.
love.

48 hours and coming back

This past weekend i went on a freshman retreat called 48 Hours to Brewster, MA on the cape. our hotel was immaculate, the accommodations incredible, the view to die for. but the people i met, the things i heard, and the things i shared are incomparable. I did not know any of the 12 other kids in my small group upon going on the retreat, nor did i know any of my 3 roommates, and not many of the 130 or so freshman that made up the entire group. But everyone was really nice, fun, and genuine. my small group was led by Mark Herzlich, who is well known to be the BC football player who Beat Cancer, an inspiration to all and arguably a campus celebrity. But he was so chill. I thought he would be really intimidating. But he was genuinely nice, and easy to open up to. To think that i told some of my deepest thoughts to let myself cry in front of 12 peers and Mark blows my mind. The retreat was highly emotional, sharing stories, listening to seniors talk about their experiences, and reflecting and writing in journals. But it was also really fun. We played the most hilarious games, including Thumper, Hug a Bear, Kiss or Tackle, and Mafia. so fun. i haven't laughed like that and had that much fun with a group of strangers in so long, or ever. The ocean was frozen because we were on the bay side of the Cape; it legit looked like antarctica or something. beautiful. I have a piece of string tied around my wrist from one of the closing activites, which i will not take off until it falls off, as a constant reminder of what i learned about myself, my peers, and my leaders. I guess i don;t want to share much of this specifically, other than there are other people out there feeling the same things i am, and that i need to realize that i'm never alone.

But coming back to campus after this utopian, every one is nice and accepting, no one is going to spill your secrets, everyone is honest, and be a goofball and it'll be okay weekend was much harder than i imagined. not everyone is nice. not everyone is nonjudgemental. it's the truth, and it's sad. needless to say i felt a little lost sunday night, knowing that campus hasnt changed even if i had. but i quickly got over that and just decided i need to surround myself with the people that ARE nice and ARE nonjudgemental. and i now have quite a few more connections of people just like that thanks to 48 hours, my group, my roomies, and my awesome leader.

opportunities surround me, and i need to seize them. amen.

the human experience

I haven't cried in two months... until tonight.
"The Human Experience," a film by Grassroot Films, just ripped my heart out and put it back together, all in under two hours time. I saw a man, struggling with his homelife, a broken family, and an uncertain identity come to realization that there is hope, there is happiness, and there is faith in God. I saw the homeless people of New York City shed tears when they saw their brothers and sisters find homes for stray dogs, but left them in the cold. I saw innocent children of Peru abandoned at birth, bearing both natural and violence induced deformities overcome their struggles by the kindness of volunteers and the doggedness of medical staff. I saw a Ganian mother and her beautiful baby, with the biggest eyes I have ever seen, both misfortuned with AIDS. I saw an African man with leprosy, estranged by his own kin to live in a foresaken colony with others like him, rotting away exponentially. A homeless New Yorker said why he lives is for the sake of others. A little Peruvian boy with only one limb, a leg which he uses for everything, laughed and played. A leper stated that he liked the community in the Leper Colony, and that they worked together for everything, and that he was happy. A man forgave his unloving father after over ten years of absence.

How could I ever be unhappy, how could I ever want, how could I ever be complacent, when those with struggles astronomically larger than mine could ever be concerned for others, greatful, and even happy?

If you ever, ever get a chance to see this movie, do yourself a favor and see it. I literally laughed, cried, and was inspired by it. It displayed enormous humanity, humilty, and light.

And now I am even more determined to work for the bettering of the world.

semana dos!

two weeks already? slash only two weeks? i can never decide if time goes by fast or slow in college.
either way, i've been holdign strong with my resolutions, still. gym/workout every day. healthy food. working on getting more involved. city living. all that good stuff.
some things on the horizon:
- my Appalachia spring break service trip is in just about a month! i should find out where i'm specifically going soon.
- after spring break i think i am going to apply to go on the Arupe service trip whcih will take place somewhere in central america next january during winter break.
- i am juggling the idea of joining the Heights (a student newspaper) or Stylus (a student art and literature magazine) for this semester, and i will join one of them, but i cant decide which.
- i am applying to be an ELP facilitator for next year and i really hope i get it.
- i love most of my classes and weirdly so far dont mind doing work for them or wakign up at 9 am every day. i only hate one of my professors who spits and repeats himself for an hour before moving on to new material. but other than that, golden.
-48 hours retreat next weekend, i'm anxious.
-valentines day weekend after that, wonderful. not.
-i think i'm writing an article for my news writing class on Bodega and im psyched!

do you know people are paid to be professional bloggers? i read a whole chapter in my news writing class book about blogging. i think that was a cool fact-of-the-week.

catchyalater!

week one check in

i've met like ten new people. i went into boston twice, and went into newton center once. i flossed daily. i worked out every single day, and have grown to love the Plex. woo hooo! one meal a day was a salad, and the other two very healthy options. i only ate one unhealthy thing all week, and only ate half of it. i'm on top of my work thus far. i plan to go to the activities fair this wednesday so i can find another club to join. and... i'm happy.

so far so good?

oldschool songs for newschool thoughts

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-iBGSLkfCU
Sum 41- Motivation
it's day two of semester two, and i already hit snooze on my alarm clock this morning. i already have a lot of homework i already do not want to do. wonderful! but i have been working out and eating healthy. i have motivation, just not enough for every aspect of my life... yet.

2.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRCBYAqEWZ4
MxPx- Politics
Hey everyone that keeps yelling at me for not voting! I'm sorry, I'm an awful person, I know. Worst citizen alive. But to be honest... I would have voted for Scott Brown. And he turns out to be a former centerfold model who tries to get his daughters dates in his acceptance speech... and drives a truck. can't forget that one. he won anyways. not a good attitude, i know. but-- i was unprepared. next election i promise to educate myself heavily on the candidates and be uneffected by really annoying campaign ads cough cough Martha. and vote. add that to my resolutions!



thats all for now :o)

new semester resolutions

i vow to exercise much more. bc has great facilities, why haven't i been using them? i think i was honestly self concious to work out in front of people. but i went to the plex today and no one pays attention to you. and people around are motivation to keep going and workout more, honestly. my academic schedule is more condusive to fitting the gym in, also. i plan to hit the gym at least three times a week at minimum, if not more. i know i definitely will wednesdays and fridays because my classes end by 10 a.m. if i can't make it to the gym, i will exercise in my room. i bought a medicine ball so i can do arms and abs. and theres a ton of cool classes that bc offers, like ice skating and yoga, etc. i will take advantage of those.

i resolve to eat healthier. i ate pretty healthy last semester, actually. but i guess just taking it to the next step and really watching what i eat and make healthy choices. i may begin a food journal to keep track of what i'm eating and realize what i should cut out or add into my diet. i just want to be healthy.

floss. not like i dont now, but just not every sinnnngle day religiously. but i dont want rotten teeth. i love my smile ;o) haha

go to more events on campus. i did a lot last semester, but i found myself not doing some things because my close friends weren't going, even if i really wanted to go. i need to expand my horizons and just GO. for ME.

join another club/activity. there's soooo many! and that's just the problem. i can't decide! i'm already in a couple, but i really want to meet new people through involvement in an activity that i love, like writing for a magazine on campus or the art club or something. not sure what, but i'm going to student activity day soon and will find something!

call my mom every day. i did last semester. legit. every. single. day. i love my mom. she's one of my best friends. we need to keep up our girls-just-wanna-have-fun relationship (ha)
go into boston more. i want to know the city and the t system like the back of my hand. once spring comes, this will be easier.

find a new job or something to do over the summer. beign home over break made me scared i wont get hours at old navy over the summer. and that retail sucks. i want to upgrade. and i was going to go abroad, but now i have taylor swift tickets (!!!!!!!!!!!!) which is smack in the middle of the summer so i'm going to wait on that.

meet people. i kinda mentioned this in a couple others. but this is an ultimate goal. not that i dont like my friends and roomate that i have, but i want to get to know more of the thousands of people that make up bc. i gotta really work at this. im shy, i dont like approaching people. and i know im standoffish, another thing i need to work on. i can really open up to people that express interest in knowing me, but if i have this stonecold face on and dont look open to conversation, it wont happen. and if i dont take some chances it won't either. i think this will be, by far, the most challenging of my resolutions.

i may add some to this list.
and some others i dont feel like announcing to blogger, to be completely honest.

but, wrapup: get fit and healthy and get more involved to meet people are the main goals.

i'll chack back soon to see how these babies are going. peace!

so, tomorrow officially begins my second semester at boston college. and i decided to hold off on making new years resolutions because second semester resolutions seem more practical and motivating, through my eyes anyways.
but first, quick recap of the end of last semester: i made it through finals week somehow. i was less stressed through it than i thought, and i didn't have any meltdowns thankfully. and i believe i was quite successful. soon after i found out that i earned four A-'s (in history, microecon, portico, and computers in management) and a MIRACULOUS B- in calc. considering all, i was pretty stoked. at the beginning of the semester i seriously feared failing calculus and almost dropped it. and i never thought i'd get in the A range, especially first semester, in any class especially in some topics i've never even glanced at before. ultimately, i scored a 3.42 GPA, making me a candidate for the Dean's List. i'm very content with that.
recap of break: so long, so relaxing, pretty fun. i worked forty hours the first week i was home, then was not scheduled at all for the rest of break. that's bad on my purse but good on my stress level. i babysat and did some other random jobs to make up for it, anyways. i hung otu with my best friends a lot. if you think first semester teaches you who your friends are, try winter break. it tells you even more about who you call your friends. but i know that my friends that are there for me at great, especially one, so all is well. a lot of family time, moxie time, and hanging out. idk what i was thinking, i brought home soo much clothes and stuff. did i think i didnt have a washer and dryer at my house? that i'd be home for a year? that i'd be going out every single night and needing to dress up? apparently. cuz packing was ridiculous.
and now i moved back in officially yesterday. yesterday was not a good day. mom was sad. i was kinda sad. didnt do anything to occupy my time. but today its good again. after not sleeping well... went breakfast with some friends, the gym with a buncha people, got my text books, dinner with another good friend, and am about to do SOMETHING, who knows, before going to bed nice and early so im rested up for my three classes and elp meeting tomorrow.
looking ahead to this semester: i'm taking 5 classes again. and i'm excited. less business, more creativity. newswriting (which i am the only freshman in, eek!), painting (so anxious!), stats (cake), macro, and history II. this will be a good semester.
and now for my resolutions.... see more recent blog :o)